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television Roseanne's Nuts Say hello to the second-worst show on television. By Troy Patterson Posted Thursday, July 14, 2011, at 6:17 PM ET The new worst show on television debuted Wednesday night on Lifetime--Dance Moms, an ugly docu-circus featuring a megaton bully of a Pittsburgh dance instructor, the little princesses she costumes as lunatic street whores, and a quorum of strenuously pathetic stage mothers, one of whom warbles that she would slit her wrists if her daughter even thought of trying out for softball. The only good that could come of the show would be for it to motivate a child protective services officer to orchestrate a SWAT raid, condemn the dance studio as a public nuisance, and deprogram the girls posthaste. Only one person remotely connected with anything in or near the show comes out looking good, and her name is Roseanne Barr. You see, Roseanne's new reality show premiered, in back-to-back half-hour episodes, as Dance Moms' lead-in. *Roseanne's Nuts, as the thing is called, is so loud, dull, and dumb that it seems to be jackhammering an abyss into existence, but its reign as the most depressing show on air lasted only 60 minutes. To continue reading, click here.* Troy Patterson is Slate's television critic. Join the Fray: our reader discussion forum What did you think of this article? POST A MESSAGE \| READ MESSAGES Also In Slate How Overzealous Prosecutors Get Away With Keeping Innocent Men on Death Row for 10 Years How Facebook Saved My Son's Life The Crazy, Gripping Scandal at the Heart of Errol Morris' Tabloid	Advertisement
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Now playing: *Slate V, a video-only site from the world's leading online magazine. Visit Slate V* at www.slatev.com.
television Roseanne's Nuts Say hello to the second-worst show on television. By Troy Patterson Posted Thursday, July 14, 2011, at 6:17 PM ET The new worst show on television debuted Wednesday night on Lifetime--Dance Moms, an ugly docu-circus featuring a megaton bully of a Pittsburgh dance instructor, the little princesses she costumes as lunatic street whores, and a quorum of strenuously pathetic stage mothers, one of whom warbles that she would slit her wrists if her daughter even thought of trying out for softball. The only good that could come of the show would be for it to motivate a child protective services officer to orchestrate a SWAT raid, condemn the dance studio as a public nuisance, and deprogram the girls posthaste. Only one person remotely connected with anything in or near the show comes out looking good, and her name is Roseanne Barr. You see, Roseanne's new reality show premiered, in back-to-back half-hour episodes, as Dance Moms' lead-in. *Roseanne's Nuts, as the thing is called, is so loud, dull, and dumb that it seems to be jackhammering an abyss into existence, but its reign as the most depressing show on air lasted only 60 minutes. To continue reading, click here.* Troy Patterson is Slate's television critic. Join the Fray: our reader discussion forum What did you think of this article? POST A MESSAGE \| READ MESSAGES Also In Slate How Overzealous Prosecutors Get Away With Keeping Innocent Men on Death Row for 10 Years How Facebook Saved My Son's Life The Crazy, Gripping Scandal at the Heart of Errol Morris' Tabloid	Advertisement
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Ideas on how to make something better? Send an e-mail to slatenewsletter@nl.slate.com. Copyright 2011 The Slate Group \| Privacy Policy The Slate Group \| c/o E-mail Customer Care \| 1350 Connecticut Ave NW Suite 410 \| Washington, D.C. 20036

Culturebox: Roseanne's Nuts